END OF CHAPTER NOTE:
What’s coming next in this book:
Enemas – Game Changer
Diet & Recipes – Juicing, Recipes, Sample Meal Plans for a Typical Day for everyone
Emotional & Mental Support for the Caregiver
Kids – This is damn hard for the grown ups, what about the kids
Cancer is a Bitch – family, marriages, friends, coping
END OF CHAPTER MESSAGE:
I hate this fucking disease.
Disclaimer – if you don’t like occasional swear words, if you can’t hear the nitty gritty truth, maybe this book isn’t for you.
I will always swear when it comes to the word cancer (just like I’ll never capitalize that word). I hate it. It stole my life from me.
Peter & I were living our lives – a really beautiful life. Our older kids were heading into their most important teen years, our youngest had just turned 8.
We travelled. We drank tequila on Saturday nights & laughed our asses off. We had 3 businesses, we had friends over for dinner, we made love like a couple of teenagers – we had plans to grow very very old together surrounded by a gaggle of grandchildren.
I say this disease didn’t just knock on our front door, it kicked the damn door down.
I wasn’t in this lifetime expecting to watch Peter suffer, emotionally, mentally, physically.
I wasn’t expecting to see our son, Jude – who was born with a smile on his face – to stop smiling. Completely.
I wasn’t expecting to have my life robbed from me. From us, from our kids.
So, yes, I’ll swear.
I fucking hate this disease.
I’ve said this from day 1 – I would take this disease from Peter in a heartbeat, ten fold. He’s a better person than me. He deserves better. He doesn’t deserve to suffer. I’d take it tomorrow if I could.
But I can’t.
So caring for him is all I can do, it’s all I can give. Sometimes I feel so small, like what I do isn’t enough. But it must be – he’s still here.
I went looking for ‘That Book’ to help me cope. As a wife, as a mother, as a Caregiver. I wanted to find someone who would truly write what this is really like. Really like.
I wanted to hear the truth. I wanted to read something & yell out loud – ‘YES! Fuck! Yes! I know what she’s talking about! I get it!.’ I hunted high & low for that book, I couldn’t find that book, so I’m writing it.
I’m scared. I’m mad as hell. I’m grief stricken. I’m devastated.
But I’m strong. I’m smart. I’m devoted.
And I LOVE this man.
He is the love of my life.
So know that this book will be helpful, it will be honest, it will be raw, it will be heartbreaking. I pray to God it may help even one person.
Most of all, this book in it’s entirety is dedicated to my Peter.
I love you Peter.
The Two of Us Together, We Really Can Do Anything.
God Bless You All. You’re not alone. I’m right here with you.
Love, Tamara ❤👩🏻🍳🇨🇦🙏❤
July 19, 2017